I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
