I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
