I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
