Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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