Your tits are I can't wait for
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
