Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
