You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
