its not stalking. its research.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
