Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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