let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize