My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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