I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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