Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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