Define "chronic" masturbator.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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