drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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