Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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