i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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