Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
