So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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