Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize