At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
