he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
