Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
