Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
