you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
