I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
