Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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