I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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