"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
