Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
