dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
