i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
