The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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