omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
