Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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