He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
