More tranny stories later!
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
