No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize