he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
