i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
