I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
