Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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