I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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