Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im holly from the hills drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So apparently I’m into choking now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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