very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
