So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
