dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
