All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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