we have officially lost it.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
