I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
