3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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