Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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