How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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