No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize