Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
