Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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