peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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