Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
