All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
