Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
